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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28370673">Pink, Blue, Babies, Dwarves, and Nobbs</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilBugPrincess/pseuds/LilBugPrincess'>LilBugPrincess</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Discworld - Terry Pratchett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Exploration of Gender, Gen, Post-Feet of Clay and Post-Jingo, anyway I think sgt. colon is probably a pretty decent man when he tries, gender is a scam made up by the plumbing industry to sell more toilets, or more like a totally lost fumbling in the dark in an unknown location of gender, probably post some other books? I don't remember this timeline very well</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:29:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,043</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28370673</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilBugPrincess/pseuds/LilBugPrincess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sergeant Colon doesn't like when Nobby starts with that tone of voice. Things always get a little... philosophical. A little....... complicated. Still, he wouldn't be an officer if he didn't tackle these things head-on, no matter how lost he gets!</p><p>"Weeeell, you see, of course... now, sometimes you have folks what see the world and start making plans about how they want it to work, and--" "That's an agenda, sarge."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fred Colon &amp; Nobby Nobbs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Pink, Blue, Babies, Dwarves, and Nobbs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm sorry, the line in the summary isn't actually in the text. I lied to you to get you to click on this story. We're starting this relationship with deceit.</p><p>The alternative quip was "gender? I barely know 'er!"</p><p>Footnotes are in the end notes, but there's links to get back where you came from, so don't worry about clicking em!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Sarge,” said Nobby Nobbs, Corporal of the Watch, “Y’ever think much… bout gender?”</p><p>And Sergeant Fred Colon, also of the Watch, hesitated. Nobby sounded… thoughtful. They’d known each other for years, and over that time they’d had countless conversations on topics of all kinds while patrolling the streets of Ankh-Morpork.</p><p>Nobby got thoughtful like this sometimes. This tone of voice always heralded particularly… odd topics, ones that tended to leave Colon feeling a bit lost. He had this faint feeling now, that things were going to get confusing in very short order, but he was a superior officer, and thus had an obligation to speak with authority.</p><p>“Weeeeell…” he started, delaying just long enough to get some words lined up, “Naturally, Nobby, I’ve had my run ins with the folk here and there, same as you… bit stuck up and all, tending not to know very much ‘bout life down here on the streets, not like you and I, Nobby--”</p><p>“No, Sarge, that’s the Gentry you’re thinking of.”</p><p>Colon paused, but rallied impressively. “Of course, of course! Well caught, Corporal, passed the test right there! Now, naturally, I know all about gender,” he gestured dramatically to buy himself time, “I was learning all about country life and that, and as you know, if you’re planning to raise geese and see any more little geeslings, you need a proper gender--”</p><p>“Reckon that’s a gander, Fred.”</p><p>Sergeant Colon frowned, brow furrowing as he looked down at Nobby, who was gazing up at him with as earnest and honest an expression as a Nobbs could manage, which still made one want to check their pockets and any jewelry on their person, just in case.</p><p>“Are you taking the piss with me, Nobby?”</p><p>“Nossir, not at all, you know Henry King doesn’t have with that, sir.”</p><p>“You know what I mean, Nobby! Just get to the point, will you?”</p><p>He didn’t like this dancing around the point. It only deepened his feeling that the waters were rising and he was shortly going to be in over his head in some way.</p><p>“Well, Fred… you know, <em>‘Gender’</em>. Men and women, right? All that, the…” he paused, and Colon reckoned he felt something lapping at his calves, “Not the business of the sexes and the like, but the bits where some folks get called Mister and others are Missus, and who wears dresses and who makes you look twice when they got skirts on.”</p><p><a id="return1" name="return1"></a>The Sergeant only relaxed slightly knowing he was about to discuss anything <em>intimate</em> with his partner. Even the <em>thought</em> of what went on beneath Nobby’s clothing made the mind revolt... much less Nobby WITHOUT clothes, and god forbid, with anyone ELSE, ALSO out of clothes.<sup><a href="#note1">1</a><sup></sup></sup></p><p>“I’ve been thinking, Fred… you know, Dwarves don’t really go for much of that, do they? A’ course, you got Sergeant Littlebottom and them, here and there, being girls, but if you walked on into any Dwarf bar, and you yelled out, ‘Hey you lot!!’--”</p><p>“--go and do that, Nobby, and you’re going to be short your knees real quick--”</p><p>“--and you dodge the axes and rocks and such, and you yelled, ‘Hey, you lot!! There any ladies here? Any Missuses?’, you’re not going to get many ayes, are ya?”</p><p>“...well. No, not likely. But I’m not sure you’d get many ayes if you yelled that in <em>any</em> bar, Nobby.” Likely, you’d get a roomful of women very discreetly looking for a back door, very quickly.</p><p>“Right. But the thing of it, Fred,” they paused together for a moment, lingering at an intersection to decide where their patrol should go next. As one, they turned, confidently proceeding down the street least likely to be harboring crime that might bother them.</p><p>“The thing is, Fred, you wouldn’t have many Dwarves goin’ out there and saying ‘aye’, but there’d prolly be some women in there. Under all the beards and the chainmail and whatnot.”</p><p>“...most… likely, yes.” Colon got a sensation very much like dampness around the knees.</p><p>“Statistically speaking, ‘bout half of em, more or less,” Nobby’s face crinkled in deep thought, a fascinating sight for any passing connoisseurs of facial topography, “but you wouldn’ be able to tell. You wouldn’t call em Miss, or see em in skirts, or any of that. You’d call them… hims.”</p><p>“...yeeessss…?”</p><p>“...even the women.”</p><p>“Well, Nobby,” Colon started, grasping at something he hoped was a lifeline, “that’s just how dwarves are, you know. Nice enough people, but they have all kinds of weird ways, not like proper folks, not like you and me, now! And besides, you said it yourself, there’s Littlebottom. Not that strange, seeing dwarves going by ‘she’, anymore. That’s progress for you.”</p><p>“Right, but she had to go through a whole fuss about it. Gals like her, they gotta go out of their way to be ladies. Gotta sit up and tell people, otherwise they’re men.”</p><p>Silence fell between the two, as they continued their stroll. Colon was spared the task of filling it up by Nobby, who spoke again,</p><p>“Fred… did you ever have to tell people you were a man?”</p><p>Not that the provided remark gave him much more peace of mind. He stared at Nobby again, who was looking ahead.</p><p><a id="return2" name="return2"></a>“Of course not, Nobby! Just look at me! Who’s going to need to hear that, hm?” His eyes narrowed, “Are you saying I’ve got some kind of… of… <em>feminine</em> qualities!? What are people saying about me!?” He hadn’t noticed any unusual snickering or whispers behind his back, and the thought that he might’ve missed them made his face redden and sweat bead on his forehead. <sup><a href="#note2">2</a></sup></p><p>“No, no! Not at all, Sarge!” Before the panicked anger of Fred Colon, Nobby was nothing but placating and earnest, “Nothing like that! You’re all man, mustache and all, no one’s been talkin’! Come on, Fred, you know me! I wouldn’t lie to you ‘bout somethin’ like that!”</p><p>Colon started to relax, and Nobby continued, “What I’m saying is… more or less, you’ve always known you were of the male persuasion, Right? And everyone else has always looked at you and said, ‘welp, seems right, that Fred, he’s a man and a right proper one.’ Never ran into any problems with all that.”</p><p>“Never in my life, Nobby.”</p><p>“Roight.”</p><p>The matter should have been sorted there, but he had a feeling that the conversation hadn’t ended yet. The waters of this particular metaphor hadn’t gone down an inch, and somehow he felt they were getting rather muddier.</p><p>“..........so…” Nobby started, tentative, “...your gender, as it was, would be Male. So when did you know that?”</p><p>Colon opened his mouth… and found it staying open. Surely, this was an obvious one, but he found himself floundering for an answer. “Er… well. Y...you know, Nobby.” He certainly did know… right? He did know, He’d always known! “The whole time, nat’rly!”</p><p>“But prolly not when you were a baby, right? All little an’ pink, onna count of babies don’t know much of anything but crying and weeing.”</p><p>“Er.”</p><p>“An’ babies, well, you know, you see’ em and they all look more or less like every other baby, don’t they? Gotta look for a bit of pink or blue if you wanna know.”</p><p>“Well, yes!” Colon rallied, jumping on what seemed like the perfect answer, "Yes, so nat’rly, once I was old enough to know colors and the like, all I had to do was look down and <em>Vwah lah!</em> I went, right! I’m a boy, then! And got on with my life,”</p><p>“So… what if your ma had put you in pink, Fred?”</p><p>Silence.</p><p>“Cause like that, you mighta looked down and went--”</p><p>“--of course I wouldn’t have! I’d still be a <em>man</em>, Nobby! Bit of color wouldn’t change that! And besides, my ma never would’ve made a mistake like that! She was a clever one, never going to mix up anything as dis-TINCT as pink and blue!”</p><p>“Right, right.” Colon started glancing around. They were still pretty deep in the city… the patrol wasn’t ending any time soon, and he was starting to hope some crime might stumble upon them. A look at the clacks tower revealed no messages for a Sergeant out of his depth, and the only thing untoward in sight was Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler and his sausages, which was only a crime in the general sense of the universe.</p><p>“...and… how did your Ma know you were a boy, Fred?”</p><p>“I'd think it was pretty obvious, Nobby!”</p><p>“No, no, but, humor me, sarge: When did she <em>know</em> she had a son on her hands?”</p><p>His mind whirled, and dredged up a memory, "Well, around the time Missus Colon started showing the first time, she took this coin on a string and she held it over her stomach, see, and the way it turned round was s'posed to say whether it was a girl or boy, 'cept it broke off when she was doing it, and...</p><p>“That's fine n' all, but <em>when</em> did your ma know? <em>For sure?</em>"</p><p>Another long pause... one that might be called pregnant, if one was in the mood for thematic narration.</p><p><a id="return3" name="return3"></a>“Well…” Fred Colon reckoned he was well and truly in it now, and couldn’t really say what <strong>it</strong> was, beyond deeply confusing in a way he didn’t usually associate with Nobby Nobbs. “...I… reckon… when the midwife got done with all the… business…<sup><a href="#note3">3</a></sup> she uh, she… took a… look. And said, ‘It’s a boy!’, and that was that.”</p><p>“Right.”</p><p>“Right.”</p><p>“...but imagining if you’d been born a dwarf, the midhusband would’ve just held you up and--”</p><p>
  <em>“What’s this all about, Nobby!?”</em>
</p><p>Colon rounded on his partner, voice raised, and found that Nobby was looking… timid. Nervous, even, like he was taking bad news to Vimes. That thoughtful expression had worried him, but the lack of it turned out to be worse.</p><p><a id="return4" name="return4"></a>He glanced around, then found a quiet alley for them to shuffle down and avoid becoming an afternoon’s entertainment for the citizens of Ankh-Morpork. A wave of sympathy hit him. if Nobby wasn’t taking the piss, then he might not be the only one out of his depth.<sup><a href="#note4">4</a></sup></p>
<hr/><p>“What’s this all about, Nobby?” he repeated, softer. Quiet didn’t come naturally to him, but he felt it might be worth trying for the moment. “All this questioning about gender and babies and dwarves… it’s not like you! I know you’ve been thinking about finding someone and settling down, but kids…”</p><p>“It ain’t really about kids, Fred…” Nobby shuffled in place, then pulled out a well-worn dogend from its usual place. “...it’s about me, I think.”</p><p>Silence. Another one. This time, Colon didn’t spend the time trying to think of what to say next, instead waiting for Nobby to begin again.</p><p>Nobby’s words didn’t come easy.</p><p>“Fred… you know, ain’t many folks I could say I’m closer to, you know? You and me, we’re like this… couldn’t ask for a better friend. Or Sergeant.” he added, because the chain of command needed maintaining.</p><p>“...so when I got to… thinking, bout this and that and other things, I thought, ‘Nobby, who’s gonna understand all this?’ and I knew it had to be you, Fred. Couldn’t be Vimes, or Captain Carrot, or anyone else. Thought… well, only Fred is gonna listen and not get all clever, and if he doesn’t understand, well… at least he’ll try. Right? And I can’t say for sure that I understand, either, so it’ll be good company.</p><p>“...cause, Fred, you know, I’ve had occasion to wear a dress, here and there, and I know you always thought it was mighty weird…”</p><p>“It is, Nobby! Ain’t right for a man to be--”</p><p>
  <em>“But what if I wasn’t a man, Fred?”</em>
</p><p>Colon opened his mouth, then closed it. And then opened it again, and then, nope. One more try. From the outside, he must’ve looked like a particularly lost fish, but his appearance was the last thing on his mind right now. All he could think about was Nobby Nobbs… crumpled, rumpled, sneaky little bastard with a face like a particularly unfortunate monkey. Nobby! Who he’d been patrolling with for years! Who he’d known since he was just a grubby little street orphan all dirt and smell and oversized clothes! Who he'd watched grow into a grubby little corporal, all dirt and smell and clothing that fit sometimes, occasionally!</p><p>“I-I--” he sputtered, <em>“I think I would’ve noticed if you were a girl, Nobby!</em>”</p><p>Nobby’s face was red, under the grime, voice low and mumbling, “What if I wasn’t a girl, either?”</p><p>Fred Colon had faced quite a lot in his time on the Disc. He’d faced Dragons, and assassins, and clowns, and… and ridden animals! Bumbled through Klatch! Faced Vetinari! <em>Alone!</em> And he’d never felt more lost in his entire life than in this alley, watching Nobby fiddle with his… <em>(his…?)</em> cigarette and avoiding his eyes.</p><p>“Cause you know, Fred--” the words bubbled up and poured all over the place, “W-wouldn’ really be that funny, if I wore a dress, then. On account of… n-not being a man. Ain’t nothing strange about wearing a dress then.”</p><p>Colon had no words, but Nobby had enough to go around.</p><p>“And y’know, all that stuff you said, well! You know, folks always called me mister an’ boy and that stuff, but mostly they just call me <em>‘you there’</em> an’ <em>‘that thing’</em>, and neither of those mean anything about any genders! And, you know--!”</p><p>Nobby was on a roll now, gesturing frantically, eyes pleading when they met Colon’s blank stare. “You know, when I was a baby, looked down, but my mam, she never bothered with any of those pinks and blues and stuff, reckon the color I was in was prolly just somethin’ brownish, kinda grubby? An’ the midwife <em>never said</em> I was a boy!”</p><p>A hand flew up to cut Colon off, though he still didn’t have the mind to interject. “She <em>didn’t!</em> All she ever said was that I was a <em>human</em> and you ain't gotta be a man to fit in mankind!</p><p>“And yeah, Ol’ Sconner was always talkin’ bout makin’ a man out of me, but the way I see things, he ain’t done any kind of good job at anything, so why should he have finished doin’ <em>that</em>, huh? Never made anything in his life, our mam said, but me and trouble! An’ she did all the hard work with me!</p><p>“And you know, way I see it, if dwarves don’t have to have any kind of rod and tackle to be called male or him or whatnot, well, why do I gotta worry bout that, huh? Ain’t no one’s business anyway,  unmentionables are meant to <em>stay</em> unmentionable!”</p><p>“...S-so…” Nobby seemed to run out of thoughts, left sputtering towards the end, “So… figure no reason I… gotta… stick with it. I’ve deserted a whole lotta stuff in my time… no reason I should hang around bein' a man if I ain’t getting anything out of it.”</p><p>They were both adrift now, untethered and quiet. Colon realized he was holding his breath and had to let it out in one big huff. He was sweating like he’d run a mile, and the grimy trails on Nobby’s face suggested the same. Ankh-Morpork felt very, very far away, the usual bustle and roar of the city streets muted. He could hear the sluggish gurgle of the Ankh. Somewhere, a dog was barking. Some kind of cricket was singing nearby. Funny, that. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever heard a cricket in the city, before.</p><p><em>Or maybe,</em> a thought rose from the depths of his mind, <em>I just never listened to em.</em></p><p>And he reached out, and he grabbed onto that thought.</p><p>
  <em>Maybe, there’s always been crickets in Ankh-Morpork. But you never think about them, and you never stop to listen to them, so you just assumed they weren’t there.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But maybe someone else heard them. And if they told you, you'dve scoffed, but they wouldn’t be wrong. They’d just know better than you, cause they thought to listen.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And there wouldn't be anything wrong with crickets in Ankh-Morpork, even if you'd never thought of them. Maybe it'd be okay for them to be there. Maybe they'd like being heard.</em>
</p><p>Fred Colon was an old-fashioned man, and an old-fashioned sergeant. He knew that he knew better than other folks, because that’s just how it was when you were a sergeant and a man. There was no way a Corporal knew better than him.</p><p>But right here and now, somehow, he didn’t feel much like a Sergeant. And Nobby didn’t feel much like a Corporal.</p><p>A cricket was singing in the gutter, and Fred felt like his friend was telling him something very, very important.</p><p>He took a deep breath and listened.</p><p>“....Nobby… this isn’t just about wearing dresses, right?”</p><p>“No, Fred. Don’t think it is.”</p><p>“And you’re not going to go around being a woman, right? Cause think that’d cause some troubles down in the station, what with the locker room situation and all…”</p><p>“No, Fred, ain’t a woman. Tried it out a bit, you remember, but didn’t end up feelin’ quite right.”</p><p>Fred focused all of his thoughts. He did remember the whole time with Beti and whatnot in Klatch, and that had been weird and all… but, well. Maybe not so weird… cause it was Nobby. Maybe it’d been a little less weird than if Vimes had been like that. Or he had.</p><p>“...which… would mean you’d be…?”</p><p>“...well, figured I’d just be a Nobbs, Fred.” And they reached up, shifting a hand under their helmet to scratch at their hair, causing a little drift of dandruff. “Nice an’ easy to remember.”</p><p>And it suddenly felt like Fred knew where his feet were, again. Right… right. Nobby was a Nobbs, that was all. That was more or less all he--not-he? All Nobby had ever been, when you got down to it. That wasn’t too strange, comparatively.</p><p>“Weeeeellll…” and a hint of that usual Colon confidence was back in his voice, though he wasn't entirely sure how his sentence was going to end, "These are modern days, now… and you know I've always been a good old-fashioned man, but the way I see it, this isn't much of a change or anything, if you're just going to be a <em>Nobbs.</em> Practically nat'ral, that. Just sort of… setting things all in order, when you think about it."</p><p><a id="return5" name="return5"></a>Nobby drew upright… or as much as was possible, given the circumstances.<sup><a href="#note5">5</a></sup> "That's right, Fred…! Yeah! Just right and proper, this. Never was much of a man, everyone said so."</p><p>"Right, right. So you see it like that? Nothing wrong with that at all. Plenty of practice being a Nobbs, too. Won't take very long to get up to speed on that, I wouldn’t think."</p><p>"Right. Figure I’ll have the hang of it in no time."</p><p>And now the air between them felt clearer, despite the proximity of the river. Neither really started it, but their feet automatically guided them back to the streets, putting them right back where they'd left off.</p><p>They rounded a corner, and Nobby spoke up again.</p><p>“Also been doing some thinkin’ bout the subject of Pronouns, too.”</p><p>Colon, a man who <em>technically</em> knew how to read and write but wouldn’t know a verb if it bite, bites, or bit him on the ass, didn’t say anything and hoped it seemed like a thoughtful and insightful pause.</p><p>“Like, you know. ‘You’. And ‘he’. And ‘she’, all those words and the like.”</p><p>“Right, yes--of course! We all think about those, now and again, don’t we?” Colon lied.</p><p>“Course, Fred! And you know, figure if I’m not a man anymore, might not go around being called he. Seems a bit unnecessary, right? Confusing and the like, might get folks misunderstanding.”</p><p>“Can’t have that.”</p><p>“Right. So I talked around to Constable Dorfl, since <em>tek-nik-ally</em>… Golems don’t have genders? Said when they get freed, they tend to just go by ‘them’ and ‘they’. Or ‘it’, but ain’t quite feeling that for myself.”</p><p>“...they… they. Feels a bit odd, Nobby, not really sure what to think of that one. Sounds a bit… plural, if you ask me.”</p><p>“Right, right… that’s what I thought, of course, but the more you try it, more natural it comes. Pretty easy to pick up, see? Like, you just go, ‘Yeah, that Constable Dorlf, they ain’t a bad sort, once you get past the clay and all’. Bob’s your uncle, there. ‘Corporal Nobbs, they’re getting a promotion soon.’ Hardly even notice you’re doin’ it.”</p><p>It did take some mental adjusting, though Colon found himself a bit more distracted by the subject of Nobby’s example.</p><p>“Don’t think there’s any promotions on the table right now, Nobby.”</p><p>“...well, yeah, but--”</p><p>“Budget cuts and all,” he harrumphed, “cost of all those new towers and the like for the Watch Houses. And never does any good to have too many Officers around, would cause trouble, mark my words!”</p><p>“Yeah, Fred, but--”</p><p>“And if someone <em>was</em> getting promoted, think Captain Carrot’s had his eye on--”</p><p>“--it’s more about the spirit of the thing, Fred. The bit about not calling me ‘him’.” Nobby paused, their voice turning rueful, “...and you don’t know I won’t get a promotion.”</p><p>“.......a ma--a Nobbs’s gotta dream, Nobby, won’t deny you that.”</p><p>They rounded a corner.</p><p>“...of course, might keep around the hes and the hims. Never know. Might wanna try those back out, even if I’m not a man. Never hurt the dwarves, right? Calling folks who ain’t men ‘him’. Gotta think ‘bout it some more, a’fore I decide.”</p><p>“Could cause some confusion, Nobby.”</p><p>“Yeah, but if folks are getting confused anyway, prolly won’t hurt em much more.”</p><p>“...true enough.”</p><p>They wandered down the street a bit longer.</p><p>“...Nobby, they’re a solid Nobbs.” Colon said, thoughtfully, testing it out.</p><p>“Whatdya think of that, Fred?”</p><p>“...think I could give it a go. For you, Nobby.”</p><p>“Thanks, Fred.”</p><p>The Watch House was in sight now. They hadn’t done quite as much patrolling as they’d set out to do, but that hadn't been very much to begin with.</p><p>“...of course, won't be too easy to ditch the male gender,” Nobby remarked, taking a dogend from behind their ear, “...but figure I know a good pawn shop.”</p>
<hr/><p>Things could’ve gone better, all and all, but they could’ve gone worse. Some folks… Constable Dorfl, Sergeant Littlebottom, caught on fairly quick, and adjusted to the change without stumble. Captain Carrot, for all his good qualities, was always a bit weird about matters of Gender, but a long, LONG conversation with Cherry and Angua eventually got him on the right page (or at least the appropriate chapter). Vimes had been a hard one, clearly confused at this sudden shift of Nobby’s, and had been awkward and distant until he got complaints from Concerned Citizens about this Strange Gender Nonsense, which made clear that he should support it.</p><p>Carrot had a whip-round the office to get Nobby a fruit basket in celebration, which no one quite understood but all felt was appropriately supportive. And Nobby got a handful of cash for their old Gender at a pawn shop, though less than they’d wanted because the owner couldn’t get the smell out. And there was a bit of a fuss when Nobby decided to wear a skirt to work, but everyone eventually agreed that the bagginess actually revealed <em>less</em> Nobby than pants did and that made it more or less okay.</p><p>And there were problems, as there always were, and snide remarks, and rudeness… but days came in and went out, and Nobby was happy, and other Watch members found themselves mumbling that well… they couldn’t be less progressive than Old Fatty Colon, and <em>he</em> seemed to take to it pretty well… and all and all, the Disc failed to stop turning, and the whole thing soon became the new normal, as it always does.</p><p>And a few months later, after things had aired out a bit, a Golem left a back alley pawn shop and adjusted his carefully sculpted mustache, ten cents poorer… but a newly made Man.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><a id="note1" name="note1"></a><sup><strong>1</strong></sup> - Unless Nobby was in the process of relieving said person of those clothes on a battlefield or down a dark alley. That was alright, all perfectly natural. All appropriate for a Nobbs of his Nobbiness. <span class="small"><a href="#return1">[back]</a></span></p><p><a id="note2" name="note2"></a><sup><strong>2</strong></sup> - Admittedly, an easy thing. It was as natural for Colon to be red and sweaty as it was for Nobby to be walking away with a fallen man’s belongings. <span class="small"><a href="#return2">[back]</a></span></p><p><a id="note3" name="note3"></a><sup><strong>3</strong></sup> -  Despite having sired several children, all delivered at home, Sergeant Colon was of the common opinion that menfolk had no place knowing what went on during the act of birth, and treasured his lack of knowledge. His job was to create and provide for children, not watch them enter the world. <span class="small"><a href="#return3">[back]</a></span></p><p><a id="note4" name="note4"></a><sup><strong>4</strong></sup> -  And of course, Nobby was far shorter, which meant those depths were far deeper. <span class="small"><a href="#return4">[back]</a></span></p><p><a id="note5" name="note5"></a><sup><strong>5</strong></sup> - I.e. being Nobby Nobbs<span class="small"> <a href="#return5">[back]</a></span></p></blockquote></div></div>
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